Paintings don't always work out the first time, and that's OK.

"Don't be afraid to repeat to obsession! Repetition gives us the opportunity to try out different ideas, to take risks and really explore past the boundaries of what we might think is possible for that subject." - Angela Fehr

I think it's a common assumption that once you're "good" at art that you basically stop making mistakes and every time you paint it turns out great, right?  While yes, you start making less mistakes, you are not immune to them -- and that's nothing to fear.  No matter how long you've been painting, you'll always make a few bad paintings, that's just to remind you that there is always new things to learn and room for growth.  Embrace those less than ideal moments and let them teach you.

As I've become a slightly more experienced artist, I've also put more pressure of perfection on myself, which in turn eroded the enjoyment of painting for me.

I felt as though I had to constantly keep the equality of my art consistent and to do even better than last time.  I must always keep improving.  Why did I think like that? Well, once I realized that I had an opportunity to make a business out of my art and that there was a possibility to support myself doing something that I loved, I presumed there was no longer room for mistakes or 'bad' art in my work.

I would worry so much about my art that I actually gave myself artist-block and mild depression... that's obviously not good.  Although it is important to do your best with what you do, it's also important to enjoy what you are doing. The mentality and pressure of perfectionism is unsustainable. I still have moments when I think "I should've known how to paint this because I've done it before!" or "What happened? This was starting out so nice." or "I can't mess this up because I don't want to waste supplies."  

It's been hard to shake the negative self-talk and self-induced anxiety, but I'm learning that it's more important to enjoy the process instead of just focusing on the outcome. One of the most helpful people has been Angela Fehr. She taught me through her YouTube videos that it is necessary to enjoy the process and to continue trying rather than giving up on a subject matter.  She taught me that it is better to paint the same scene multiple times and to not be afraid of doing so.  By doing a repaint, you're furthering the learning, refining, and discovering. For some reason, I originally thought that you only get one chance to paint something, and if that fails, you have to move on to the next painting. I'm learning to think "It's ok, I can always try again" instead of "I'm not allowed to make mistakes."  I recommend you to watch Angela's videos and read her "Fearless Artist" quotes -- they're full of great inspiration and encouragement.

Be gentle with yourself. Every thing you make -- good or bad -- is progress.

Making mistakes is an opportunity for learning and for growth -- you just have to look at it that way. The thing is, every time you have the courage to pick up your brush or pencil and create something - anything - you are improving. It's impossible to not improve when you are creating.

If you are unhappy with what you are creating, you may need to step back and assess. Decide whether the painting is worth working on or if it is time to start a completely new one. Ask yourself questions. What is your heart telling you? What don't you like about the painting? What do you like about it? What would you do the same and what would you do differently? What have I learnt from this? Perhaps you don't like the colours that you chose, or the placement of your focal-point, etc. If you can identify what you did "wrong" or what you don't like, you'll be able to create a better more pleasing version every time you paint it. Maybe it was just a bad day. I've found that when a painting isn't turning out like I'd hoped, it usually means that I wasn't in the right headspace when I was painting it. I was either anxious, afraid, or distracted. I have to walk away and come back to it when my mind has cleared.

So, if a painting isn't working, perhaps it's trying to tell/teach you something about yourself. Take a break, pay attention to how you are feeling in that moment, and come back to it when you better understand.

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This painting below is almost finished, but I've decided that it is necessary to repaint it. I started to second-guess myself then I made some mistakes, the colours got muddy, and I was no longer happy with where it was going. At first, those same old negative thoughts came to mind, but I pushed them aside and decided that painting this has furthered my skills and taught me valuable things that now I can apply that to a fresh painting. The "worst" thing about repainting this scene is that I'll also have to re-film the painting process because this was supposed to my new YouTube video for August. I was so happy an excited for this painting and the video, but I'm choosing to be gentle with myself and allowing myself to try again because I know I'll be that much more happier with the finished product in the end.

My first attempt to paint this scene. It isn't bad, and I definitely like parts of it, but I can do better now that I've learnt from it. I will happily paint it again.

I've identified what I want to keep and what I need to do differently the next time I painting this scene. Here's some examples:

I like the sky and furthest background trees, so I'll paint them the same way next time. I like the closer poplar trees, but their branches got a bit over done, so I'll keep the branches to a minimum next time. I don't like the edge where the background trees meet the rock, so I'll have to do that differently. I love the biggest spruce tree, but I think I'll move it a little more to the left next time. I'll either omit the second large tree on the left or I'll actually plan for it to be a part of the composition. The smaller spruce trees are alright. I'll have to better map-out the shadows before I start painting them, and I may rethink my colour choices.

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Below is another repaint but from last year. One of my favourite personal "comebacks". They kind of look like they could've been painted by two different people, don't they? When the first painting wasn't working out, I assessed what I did wrong and how I could improve. I knew that I could successfully paint what I envisioned with a few tweaks to my original plan and with my new insight on how not to do some things, so I tried again. I love the outcome.

So don't be afraid to start anew, redirect, or take a break when things aren't going the way you hoped... it isn't a bad thing. And please be kind to yourself ~

Writing this post has helped me have a better understanding of myself and this topic, and I truly hope it can benefit you as well. If you have any tips/advice or questions, please leave them in the comments. :)

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Till next time,

Cheyenne